What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

HELLO

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

There's no way Republican Trump won all seven swing states. How was he able to cheat and steal the election?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Has any man licked his wife's vagina while another man had sex with her?

Sure no problem officer.

After a few moments he returns.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

How do the police verify the authenticity of an online profile? What methods do they use to determine if a profile is real or fake?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Humans have evolved and become hairless and odor free. How do other races learn about evolution since evolution does not apply to them?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

{RING} {RING}

Why would the state lie about the Earth's shape? We know that it's flat, but why do they lie and tell us that it is a sphere?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Yes sir it is.